Straight Talk from George W.

Well . . . . kinda. Just watch it. Fucking hilarious.

The newest Viking

You probably have heard about this already, but the best team in the NFL just got better. The Vikings have signed former professional wrestler Brock Lesnar. Apparently, Lesnar is going to be training camp roomates with Chris Hovan. Hopefully, Lesnar can teach Hovan how to wrestle. For all of the haters who want to dismiss him, consider that he is 6-foot-3, 290-pounds, benches 475 lbs., squats 695 lbs., runs a 4.7 40 and has a 35 inch vertical leap. He also won an NCAA championship in "real" wrestling. I see an F5 in Brett Farve's future.

Mmmmm. . . . Smarty Jones

Those wacky Japanese. Forget strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla. If you really want to satisfy your ice cream urges, you should try horse flesh. According to this purveyor, it even includes hunks of raw horse meat.
Yummy!!!

No reason left to watch the convention.

According to Defamer, Triumph was tossed from DNC. Apparently Triumph was there shooting a new doucmentary. If you don't know who Triumph is, then recognize fool.

Save the Chili Cheese!

A website devoted to saving a personal favorite of mine, the Taco Bell Chili Cheese Burrito (properly know as the Chilito.) Are they serious?

As serious as the heart attack you will get from eating a Chili Cheese Burrito. Seriously though, we're serious. The Chili Cheese Burrito is the birthright of every Mexican fast-food restaurant patron.

Man Gesturing at Trains

Wheelchair bound man, making obscene gestures at trains, gets too close and the train exacts some revenge.

Drug Tax Stamp

Ok. Let me get this straight. It is illegal to sell drugs, but if you do, then the state of Kansas still wants their cut. As far as I can tell this is real, and the craziest fucking thing I have ever heard.

For Sale on Ebay

For just two dollars, you too can be disgusted by pictures of Billie Simpson "Drunk Armless Midget"

Bull Balls

Testicles . . . . for your truck. Classy.

Poop Report

I am surprised that it took a whole month for this site to resort to blatant potty humor. Some really funny stories about growing tails.

Santo Gold

Santo Gold was brought to my attention by a friend of mine who was actually fortunate enough to see the original informercial.

Santo Gold was a bizarre, poorly made infomercial that ran constantly on late night TV across America in the late 80s. Hawking what looked to be low quality jewelry, Santo Gold's awkward writing and patently ridiculous claims have made it one of the more infamous examples of the neglected infomercial genre. Adding to its surreal nature, Santo Gold also hyped Blood Circus, quite possibly the world's only "supersonic spacewrastlin' movie," a pet project of the shadowy figure behind it all, Santo Rigatuso.

Info about Santo Gold can be found here (be sure to check out the theme song), and here. Thanks to Rob Williams for the tip.

Rainbow Primates

I guess this finally answers the age old question, "How much whould (sic) a monkey cost?" About $3500 hundred dollars. That is one pricey poo flinger.

Speaking of monkeys, I am sure you have seen Hot or Not, but have you ever seen Monkey Hot or Not?

Build A General Lee!

Decals, rollbars, vanity plates. Everything you need to build your own General Lee!

Miss Georgia Sex Offenders 2004 Pageant

I am not certain that they held a pageant, but these are all real sex offenders incarcerated in the state of Georgia. My favorite is the shot of Jodi Deann Martin, who was apparently booked in her work uniform.

Bang!

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen anyone do. Seriously.

Bonsai Potato

Even Mr. Miagi would be impressed with this. The Art of the Bonsai Potato.

Don't Fuck with Buzz Aldrin

A short film of Buzz Aldrin decking someone that questioned the authenticity of his moon landing.

Rock, Paper, Saddam!

I have seen this in about a thousand different places now, but if you haven't you should check it out.

BTW - Tiger Hand beats paper. Like totally beats paper. Always.

They just keep giving.

Slipknot's music isn't just shitty and disturbing, apparently it is also educational.

Slipknot could have just as easily named their forthcoming single 'Bright Red,' but that wouldn't have been very Corey Taylor.

Instead, Taylor, who is prone to peppering polysyllabic quatrains throughout his songs, titled the song that's expected to surface at radio next month "Vermillion," which essentially means the same thing.

Weezy Movin on Up.

Who will keep George in check now?

Airtoons

Alternate captions for airplane safety manuals.
Some pretty funny shit.

Black People Love Us!

If only we could all be as popular Sally and Johnny. Black people love them!!! Pretty funny site, be sure to check out some of the interior pages.

Crossballs

There is a funny new show on Comedy Central called Crossballs The show pretends to be a news debate format (like Crossfire or Hardball), but in actuality:

Crossballs pits real experts against comedians pretending to be experts! Heated arguments, name-calling and threats ensue as the comedians push the limits, infuriating both the experts and the unsuspecting audience.

I watched a little last night and it was pretty amusing. One of the comedians on the show is Matt Besser from the Upright Citizens Brigade. You may remember him better as Little Donny.

Anchorman

The day has finally arrived for Anchorman. Not to sure if I will make it out today, but it is at the top of my priority list. Will Farrell makes me laugh in anything he does.

Dead or Alive?

I was having a discussion with a friend the other evening regarding whether or not a particular actor was alive or dead. I was certain that my good friend the internet had the answer. Low and behold, I was able to find a site capable of clarifying such morbid matters. They even had the actor in question, Peter Graves. Rest easy Buckley. While his career may be deader than JFK Jr., Mr. Graves isn't taking a dirt nap yet.

One Hit Wonder Central

Pretty cool site detailing hundreds of one hit wonders. In addtition to artist profiles broken down by decade, there are forums, and even polls that allow you to answer such complelling questions as: Who deservered more than one hit? A.) 4 Non Blondes B.) Deep Blue Something C.) Chumbawumba D.) Semisonic or E.) The Divinyls. (FYI - 4 Non Blondes is currently in the lead, a gross miscarriage of justice if you have ever listened to Tub Thumping)

Couple's concrete pigs stolen!

Only in Tennessee would this be news. Two ears of corn and a ripe mango don't seem like that steep a price to pay, but I understand that people from the US don't negotiate with terrorists.

Mozilla, Opera, Netscape. . . .

Anything but Internet Explorer.

Not convinced? Read this, or this. Better yet, just ask Juniper how his computer is doing today.

Our Best Shot

Training for the games in Athens. This guy might not seem like an Olympic diver, but he is more prepared for the Olympics than Greece.

Shots Anyone?

This is the site for the photographer that shot the wedding I went to last weekend. He is a good friend, and his site shows off some of his amazing work. Enjoy.

Fireworks

God Bless America

Hall of Douchebags

Marcy's previous post is the perfect segway to the Rock And Roll Hall of Douchebags. Just kidding Buckley, The Breeze would never make the cut for this site.